Increasingly popular is inviting people to pay for their own meal. For this you need to make the invitation read something like, “You are invited to our wedding on xxxxx at xxxxxx. We are not able to afford a reception but after the ceremony we are going to “a local restaurant” and we’d prefer it if you would not buy us a present but buy your own meal there. Menu enclosed.”

The great beauty of this is that it is a win for everyone. Your guests enjoy their meal, they paid for it. They don’t have to worry about what to buy you as a present. You don’t end up with 30 toasters and you have a great day without the cost of the most expensive part.

You have to make sure that your choice of restaurant is modestly priced. Most restaurants will be happy to do you a special deal, because if they can get a full restaurant mid afternoon they can usually help with the price so your friends feel they’ve got a bargain. You probably won’t have to even pay for your own meals.